By Andy, founder
Aberdeen runs on rotas. Offshore trips, hospital nights, early starts at the harbour or the airport...plenty of people in the North East don't work nine to five, and that can make dating feel harder than it should be. I hear it a lot: you meet someone lovely, then you're away for a fortnight and it fizzles out. It doesn't have to. Here's what I've seen work.
Be upfront about your rota
Mention it in your profile. You don't need to share dates or details, just something like "I work two weeks away, so replies can be slow while I'm offshore." It saves a lot of guesswork later, and it tends to attract people who are relaxed about it. Plenty of folk round here have a partner, a parent or a pal who works away, so it won't come as a surprise.
Keep in touch without overdoing it
If you have WiFi on the rig or a quiet hour after a night shift, a short message goes a long way. What matters is that it's regular, not that it's long.
- Say when you'll be quiet. "I'm on nights till Thursday, I'll message properly at the weekend" is all it takes.
- Pick a rhythm. A message at the end of each shift is easier to keep up than trying to chat all day.
- Don't let it all live on your phone. Messaging is lovely, but it's no substitute for meeting. Aim to plan a date for your time at home.
Make the most of your time at home
When you're home, time is precious, and you'll have friends and family to see as well. A good first date doesn't need a whole day. A coffee...then a walk along the beach or round Duthie Park is plenty. Shift work has one real advantage here: weekday mornings and afternoons are quiet, so you can often have the beach almost to yourselves. Our first date ideas in Aberdeen has lots more that fit into a couple of hours.
If you're coming off a long trip or a run of nights, give yourself a day to catch up on sleep before you meet. Nobody is at their best after twelve hours on the go.
If you're dating someone who works away
It's not only the person on the rota who has to adjust. If you're getting to know someone who works offshore or on shifts:
- Don't read too much into a quiet spell. A slow reply usually means a long shift, not a lack of interest.
- Keep your own plans. Your life carries on while they're away, and that's healthy for both of you.
- Talk about what works. Some people love a message every day; others prefer a proper chat every few days. Just ask.
Take it slowly, and stay safe
When your time together comes in blocks, it can be tempting to rush. There's no need. Getting to know someone over a few rotations is a perfectly good way to do it, and you'll learn a lot about how well you both handle the gaps.
The usual safety habits still apply: meet somewhere public, make your own way there and tell a friend where you'll be. Our guide to dating safely covers the rest. Every member of Go Aberdeen Dating can also get free ID verification, which is reassuring when you've been chatting for a while before you meet.
Finding someone who gets it
Daily match suggestions on Go Aberdeen Dating take into account where you are and what you're looking for, so a quick look at the end of a shift can be enough to keep things moving. Whether you're in the city, Stonehaven or out by Ellon, you can see who's near you.
Working away doesn't mean missing out. It just means doing things at your own pace...and there's nothing wrong with that.
- offshore
- shifts
- aberdeen
